"God tells me how the music should sound, but you stand in the way!"
"Ah music! What a beautiful art, but what a wretched profession!"
"Isn't this awfully long?" (To the first violinist while conducting a performance of Der Rosenkavalier')
"Oh how wonderful opera would be if there were no singers!"
"The amount of money one needs is terrifying"
"I'd rather play 'chiquita banana' and have my swimming pool than play Bach and starve."
"There are three degrees of comparison: stupido, stupidissimo and tenore."
"There are two golden rules for an orchestra: Start together and finish together. The public doesn't give a damn what goes on in between."
--Sir Thomas Beecham
"Flint must be an extremely wealthy town; I see that each of you bought two, or three seats."
--Victor Borge, playing to a half empty house in Flint, Michigan
"You can't possibly hear the last movement of Beethoven's 7th and go slow!!"
--Oscar Levant, talking his way out of a speeding ticket